15.8.10

"it's hard to explain"

Whenever someone asks me what i think of this place, i have a hesitant and noticeable grumble, because i'd like to be honest without sounding miserable. I 'like' it, in every sense of the word, i'm just not crazy about it-if you're going to spend more than a few years in a place that will shape your future, i believe you should LOVE it.

As much as I enjoy Portland, I really can't wait for where i'll be going next. Granted it won't be for a couple years, but time goes by pretty fast at this age, so it'll arrive before I know it. I'm not totally in love with PDX, in fact, I miss some of the things that set it aside from other cities...but i need a slower pace right now, along with people that aren't constantly thinking of how to make their millions. PDX seems generally polite & down to earth, though i feel like with such passive surroundings I'm not pushing myself that extra little bit, and i'm more quiet than direct & to the point. I can't explain it, other than the scene here isn't quite what i'm used to or looking for in the long run. I don't feel inspired, and that's something i can't do without...if i can't inspire myself to leave the house, how the hell will i ever make a career without it?

But i would just like to state that i don't hate Portland, I'm not unhappy because of it, i'm not in any huge rush to get out & the people here are fine, it simply doesn't fulfill me like other places have. I like busy, loud, eclectic, cluster-fucked cities with over the top antics from even more over the top people-pulling it off like it's no big deal, but every single day.

If i'm being honest...

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